Our Decision to Homeschool

Lisa Goff’s article last week “Deal with It” inspired me to write about one of my boys. Most of my children have had the same challenges, but this son has overcome these challenges in a visual way that I can share with you. This son would never have made it in public school without being medicated. He was unable to sit without moving some part of his body; his hands, his foot, or even bobbing his head up and down. Banging on things was a favorite pass time.

He was unable to be quiet either. He would make noises of all kinds; sing, chant, and the worst, click his teeth! And to keep his attention on anything he didn’t want to do was difficult, if not impossible. The dog in the movie “Up” describes his challenge perfectly!  - “Squirrel!” -  was an adept portrayal of our school hours (sadly, he wasn’t the only one!).

This required me to learn about teaching methods for short attention spans and about how the curriculum, and the “classroom”, influenced learning. I had to change my approach to meet his needs. After much trial and error and lots of prayer, I was introduced to a friend of a friend who was a homeschooler in a different state. Through her I learned about a new curriculum that was just what my children needed. What a blessing!

He also had motor skill challenges. He was ambidextrous. So much so that he was unable to cross the center line of his body. When he would color, draw, or write he would use the pencil or crayon in his right hand until he came to the center line, then he would switch the pencil to his other hand to finish the letter or shape. It was very frustrating to teach him to write legibly!

This made it necessary for me to study how the brain works and then find ways to help him learn to write and continue to learn the skills he needed.

Even with these challenges he was very smart! He taught himself to read with almost no help from me. He just listened in on what I taught his older siblings and just did it. He could (and would) take everything apart.  When anything was broken he was the one I called to come fix it. He could understand complex math and science concepts and explain them in a way that others could easily understand.

I had to become skilled at the best ways for him to learn, one of which was for him to teach others what he was studying. We used a curriculum that encouraged this style of learning, thus helping both him and his siblings learn from each other.

When he was in high school he was taking piano lessons from a teacher who also taught at Julliard. She told us that it was a waste of time and money for him to continue taking piano because he just couldn’t focus on the tasks at hand. I knew she was dead wrong and he continued with his lessons. Once he discovered jazz it was like a light bulb went off and he rediscovered his love of music.

The quandary was that his challenges could have outweighed any intelligence or talent he had. Homeschooling was the perfect method for his learning challenges and we managed to get him through Chemistry, Algebra II, and all the other education he needed. It wasn’t easy for either of us, but we met the challenge.

What I was inspired to do after reading Lisa’s article was to show what the results can be of letting your child blossom where their talents lie, instead of trying to make them conform to others expectations.  And show what can happen when you don’t make your child “deal with it”.

This son, my number four child, is now in his middle 20’s. He is married and is now working to achieve his life goals. Here is how he has used those seemingly dire learning challenges that didn’t fit into the norm of public school.

He is an amazing musician who can play countless instruments. His ambidexterity has become an advantage as he plays piano, drums, guitar and other instruments.

His ability to understand complex concepts has helped him understand sound recording. He has a sound studio in his basement and uses a computer to record things like this.

He also has other musicians send him their recordings and he cleans them up, adds back up tracks and sends back a finished product.

With his ability to explain complex concepts he can explain things like Pinterest to guys so they understand.

His ability to make noises and always be “on” he uses to do things like this.

His sense of humor was honed during the many hours he and his brothers did their best to keep me entertained so I would forget the school work we were supposed to be doing. He uses that skill to think of things like his band "Me, Myself and I".

He also is the lead singer in a local band that plays around the Philadelphia area and he has an album on itunes as well as several other singles.

I know that our decision to homeschool Matthew has allowed him to take the talents he was blessed with and learn to use them without the label of being a special education student. He did need special education. The kind found in the safety of our home until he was ready to release all that energy out into the world in positive ways. That’s all we want as parents, isn’t it?

Matthew Wood lives in New Jersey with his wife Maren. Matthew will be teaching Music Composition 101 and 102 at the LDSHE Friendship Conference on Wednesday May 16^th. Sign up your musician today!

Deal With It...

Several years ago I was the mother of a very stressed out little boy. My son started kindergarten as an inquisitive, creative, and loving child, but after three years in public school he was angry and withdrawn. We fought in the morning to get him to go to school, he spent all afternoon fighting with his siblings, and then we fought with him in the evening over homework. The doctor’s solution to all this anger and anxiety was anti-anxiety medication. When people started talking about drugging my eight-year old, it finally registered that we had to remove him from his toxic educational environment. Within two weeks of being home, his behavior drastically improved. He fought with his brothers less, talked to me more, and started drawing again. We were thrilled with the improvement, but there were lots of people who told me I was doing him a disfavor. They told me he just needed to learn to “deal with” school, and that by rescuing him I was keeping him from learning real life skills. My only response to these suggestions was to ask, “Is that what your ‘real’ life is like? Do you spend all day in a room with 25 other people and have only two square feet of personal space? Do you have to shift activities every 30 minutes, whether you are ready or not? Do you have absolutely no control over how and when you complete projects and assignments? Do you have to line up and march to the ring of a bell several times a day?” It never ceases to amaze me how society expects children to function in such an environment, when most adults couldn’t handle it themselves.

Stress and anxiety issues don’t disappear overnight, but in the right environment it can be much easier to learn the coping skills that are needed to be successful in life. We have found that for my son a key to stress management is lots and lots of creative space. When he has the time he needs to read, write and draw, he is better able to deal with other people and their demands. We’ve worked at finding opportunities for him to grow in confidence and ability outside of the school setting. For example, he has competed for several years on a Science Olympiad team and he has had multiple leadership opportunities at church and in scouting. Little by little I’ve seen him grow in his ability to manage his stress and to accomplish the things he wants to accomplish.

We moved to Utah last June and spent the summer looking for a new house. We visited a different ward almost every week. Most of the wards were short on young men, so my son would usually go up and ask if they could use some help with the sacrament. As I watched him quickly learn his new route and pass the sacrament to a congregation of strangers, I couldn’t help but think about how amazing it was that my scared, stressed out little boy had become such an amazing and confident young man. Home schooling provides the opportunity to do so much more than learn to “deal with life.” It teaches children how to “live life” and become all that our Heavenly Father wants them to be.

Making Memories

All good parents put a priority on making memories with their kids.  “Remember the time when...” is a staple of family get-togethers.  As homeschoolers we are concerned with making memories of another type too: things like “three plus eight is eleven” and how you spell “should.”  Here are some ways to increase the likelihood that your child’s lessons will stick.  

Readiness:

Of course we know that if a child is tired or hungry he’s not going to be thinking well.  Learning takes real mental energy – though it is only two percent of your body weight, your brain requires twenty percent of your total blood flow to keep it going.  Concentrating is easier after a period of physical exercise has raised the heart rate and increased the levels of neurotransmitters in the brain.  Stress levels are also an important factor: a little bit causes the brain to be alert; too much causes it to shut down to any further learning.  If your child is anxious about something, he’s not going to retain his grammar lesson well.  On the other hand, if he’s feeling apathetic about life at that moment, sometimes a little peer pressure or a good challenge can help wake up his brain.  If your child isn’t in a good state for learning, there is no more important goal than to help him get there.

Emotion:

In order for the brain to send information through short-term memory, process it in working memory, and store it in long-term memory, the nerve signals must pass many times through the limbic system of the brain, which controls emotion.  Each memory that you have is connected in a large or small way with a positive or negative emotion.  As Stanley Schmidt, author of the Life of Fred math series puts it: “How often would a man say to a woman, ‘When I asked you to marry me yesterday, I can't remember what your answer was’? Never.”  In other words, we remember the things that we are interested in, and we’re interested in what we perceive as being  important to our happiness.  Helping your child to associate “happiness” with “learning” can be as simple as making a game out of his math facts, adding “fun factor” to a history lesson by having the kids act out the scene, or saying, “Won’t grandma love to see how well you are writing today?”  Aiding a child in pursuing an interest that he already has is the easiest and most natural method of teaching, but if you despair that he’ll ever be interested in improving his spelling, linking it with his passion can be an effective way to get the “positive vibes” flowing.  How many of his spelling words can he put into a sentence about dinosaurs?

Focus:

We know about the importance of enlisting as many of our child’s five senses as possible in his learning.  We also know the effectiveness of using large muscle activities like bouncing a ball to help learn things like math facts.  Two other techniques that are very effective at getting a child to focus on the matter at hand are helping him learn to use his “mind’s eye” and his “mind’s voice.”  The former, also known as the visuospatial sketchpad or mental chalkboard, is naturally used by young children, whose verbal skills are still developing, to recall people, places, and things.  But children who have graduated from relying on it can be taught to use it intentionally: “In this problem twelve is divided by four, so imagine twelve oranges in a bowl on a purple tablecloth.  Now put them into four rows.  How many are in each row?”  Using the imagination to understand the process of division is a stepping stone between manipulating real objects and doing math with symbols only.  The “mind’s eye” can help children with things like spelling and composing original stories as they “see” how it should look or what is going on.

Children gradually transition from relying on pictures to relying on words for memory.  Around the age of seven they begin to mentally rehearse things that they need to maintain in their short term memory long enough to get them into their working memory.  Silent inner speech is a fundamental skill that aids in everything from academics to planning tasks to impulse control, but some children are much slower than others to recognize and use their “mind’s voice.”  As parents we can aid the development of this skill by modeling it.  “First we are going to put in the flour – one, two cups – then we will add the salt....”  “When I get angry with someone, I try to think about why that person did what he did....”

Settling:

I sometimes have the tendency to bombard children with too much too fast – both in my homeschooling and my calling as Primary music leader.  But the “drinking from the fire hose” method does not work.  Interval learning is vastly more effective.  Having a child go for a bike ride or do a simple, repetitive task like folding laundry in between his heavier subjects allows the brain to mull over the new information just acquired.  Reprocessing the information unconsciously, along with recalling it consciously several times in the hours to days after it was learned, allows it to have a firm seat in the long-term memory.

Memory is stored in multiple places throughout the brain, and retrieval of it can be tricky – even subjects as closely related as subtraction and multiplication are located in different areas.  As we gain an appreciation for the complexity of the developing brain, we are better prepared to work with our child where they are while aiding them to grow toward their potential.

Measuring Success

Measuring Success

Originally published by Marisa Corless at her Lighthouse Classical Academy blogspot

When the TOS Crew Blog Cruise posed the question of how to measure success, I initially thought there is no way I am answering that. This topic is too big and too broad and I am not sure I even know. But then I realized that I needed to write so I could clarify in my mind. In the past I have sometimes gotten to the end of the school year and felt personally unsuccessful, even though my children made great forward progress, because we did not finish a given book or maybe we are still using the same book for the 3rd year... Sometimes I feel like I fell short because my own personal type A personality of checking off all the done items didn't get satisfied. When I take a step back I begin to see a different picture though. I hope this post will help me clarify for myself  what success is and how it is measured.

What is success? Does that mean I can check off every box of accomplishments that the state says that a child of a given age will learn? Does that mean my child has finished a book and moved on to the next? Does that mean a test score is high? Does that mean someone else notices that my child is "on track" or "ahead" of  his or her peers? I am not so sure any of those are a good measure of success.

According to those measures, I was successful in school growing up. I was a straight A student even in a prep school which required HOURS of homework and effort. I was accepted into every secondary school and college I ever applied to. I did decent on my ACT exams. I graduated Magna Cum Laude (in the top 3 in my major) from an excellent school. I took AP classes in high school and was a quintessential overachiever.Now, several years out of school I don't know that I can say that was success. I learned some things, but much of what I put in during those years was put in, remembered long enough to put it back on the test, and dumped in the trash on my way out. It was only the things I found most interesting that were retained. Either that or they were drilled to the point that no one would ever forget!

Following graduation, I had my first child and then my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. I started school again after Tiger was born. This time it was for a Masters of Herbology- something I became passionate about. I worked hard and used what I learned. I enjoyed almost all of the coursework and even if I don't remember every detail of every plant, I do know where to look to remember. It took me years to finish and still I continue to study it even though I graduated. Is that success? I think it is much closer.

Measuring success is so difficult in the world of homeschooling because every child is different and every family situation is different. I suppose it is kind of like a child learning to talk. If we "measure success" with a 1-2 year old talking then we will record every word they say, each and every change they make in their pronunciation and each and every attempt at a new word. How exhausting! I have had a couple of really late talkers. Twice I have had a child who didn't speak a single word until after 21 months.  By many measurements this would be classified as a speech disorder. One of those children is now 28 months and still learning, although she has complexity in her speech and word choices, she is still not fully talking.  My other daughter is now 5 1/2. It is this 5 1/2 yr old I am referring to in the following story.

If I had measured Pumpkin Pie's success like many feel we should measure academic success, I would have been panicked that they were not succeeding and growing fast enough. As the mother, I looked to my child. I noticed that she was communicating very effectively with signs, body language, and responding effectively to my language. She didn't have any hearing problems and I knew that she would one day talk. Sure enough she did. A year later, she was talking so well that no one believed  she was not even 3 and furthermore they didn't believe she had only been talking for less than a year. Surely one so adept at language was an early talker. Nope. This child was observing before speaking. I expect that Strawberry will do the same.

To me, success is measured by looking at my child and evaluating how he or she is doing based on where he or she has been. Are these children moving forward in their skills? Are they striving to try new things? Are they stretching ever so slightly as they learn new things? For some children, that will mean huge success measured by the public school standards. For example, Tiger, who won't be 10 until March is chronologically a 4th grader. He is working on pre-Algebra though. By many standards, this is huge success. This has not been due to me pushing him along but rather it is due to his love of all things numeric. As long as he is still enjoying numbers and moving forward he is successful for him. He has a mission in life to fulfill and I imagine that numbers might play into that mission, but in the meantime, I keep providing him with the next step and encouraging him to climb. I also have to be aware that this child, although advanced is emotionally his age. This means that I have to be prepared for emotional walls that have and do occasionally fly up and halt progress in something. I have to remind myself that it is ok and that when he is ready, that wall will crumble and he will rush through again. I have seen it happen before when he was 7 and got towards the end of 4th grade math. He sort of understood fractions and decimals but all the tricky rules with fractions were too much for him emotionally. He spent nearly 2 years stuck and then one day it clicked and he flew through the rest of elementary math in a few short months.

Butterfly asked me to teach her to read but then wanted NOTHING to do with reading. Try as I might, she wouldn't let me teach her to read. She let me teach her the letter sounds but that was all. She wouldn't read out loud and she was not going to sit for a reading lesson! She found a Dick and Jane book and spent 2 hours a day on her bed with that book. Every once in a while she would ask me what a word said, but that was all. I think after a month or so she came to me and said she had finished the book! A month or so later she brought me Swimmy and proclaimed she could read it. And sure enough, she read it without any hesitation!

Pumpkin Pie is chronologically in K. She is the third of 4 and has realized that she has lots of people to read to her. On the one hand, she wants to read, but on the other hand, she doesn't because she is scared if she learns to read, no one will read to her. She is very slowly making progress, but each new word she learns is a victory and progress. She will learn to read in her own time. I am confident in this. In the mean time, I will keep reading excellent literature, fascinating stories, and helping her read the words in the scriptures, just as I have done with my other children. Who knows, she might surprise me like Butterfly did and one day proclaim she can read.

I suppose that in my home success will have to be measured by watching the children. Are they engaged? Are they excited about the new things they have discovered? Are they making progress in their own way?Are they contributing to the family and helping build an eternal family with love and healthy relationships? These are evaluated daily.

If I can help guide my children to always remember the Lord, love the Gospel, love one another and be best friends with each other, create lasting positive family memories, teach them to read and write and do arithmetic, think for themselves, and guide them to follow the path that the Lord has in store for them, then I suppose I would consider that success. Unfortunately, I can take steps towards that success today but the measurement won't be until much further down the road.

For today I can only measure each day. Rather than looking at the whole year after the fact, which often leads to forgetting all the successes and triumphs, I will need to look at each day. Did we do our devotional? Were the kids engaged during our group school time? Did they get excited about something? How engaged were they in their free learning time? Did we get our chores done? Did our day have a good routine and rhythm? Do they look forward to tomorrow's learning time? If I can answer yes to most of these questions, then I think I will have had success for the day. If not, there is always tomorrow and I can succeed tomorrow.

So in the end I suppose success is the incremental evaluations that we make on our road to the eventual. If we are always striving for improvement, and we regularly see it, then we are seeing success.

The Next Battle

By the time I had kids old enough for preschool I knew I was  never going to send them. I started doing preschool at home with them. We did crazy things like painting with chocolate pudding, using bubble mix on the  floor and scooting from one side of the kitchen to the other. We made alphabet  letters out of dough and ate them.  We  did crafts of all kinds. It was so fun! I knew I wanted to do this for “real”  school as well. It was a difficult decision because in some states it was  illegal and in others it was a recipe for harassment from the local school  authorities. My husband’s real fear was that our children would be taken away  from us.

We moved to Texas which  was a huge blessing. The Leeper case was making its way through the Texas courts,  challenging the legal status of homeschooling. That meant that homeschooling was  temporally legal and the authorities couldn’t harass parents that chose to  homeschool.  The battle was about  academic excellence. How could a homeschool provide an equivalent education as  the public school?

So, once my oldest son reached compulsory school age, I went  down to the local school superintendent to sign the papers to be allowed to  homeschool. The woman was less than supportive, and was just short of rude  about the whole thing. As I left the office she said rudely, “You know,  teaching is harder than you think.  You  will not be able to do this. We will accept your son at the elementary school  after Christmas break when you realize this was a bad decision.” That stiffened  my resolve. There was no way my son was attending school in this district!

Once the Leeper case was decided in favor of homeschooling,  other states started the process to legalize homeschooling, some willingly,  others fighting it tooth and nail. That was the first homeschool battle - Was  homeschooling legal? Yes, it was and we won the battle.  Homeschooling could provide an excellent  education.

The second battle homeschoolers have fought is the battle  cry,  ”But what about socialization?”  When my oldest got to be high school age the critics came out of the woodwork,  telling us that we were ruining our children because they would lack the social  skills to make it in the real world. Well, I knew the real world was not high  school! Now that homeschoolers are out in the real world, working, being  parents, and gasp! graduating from college and doing it with style, the critics  had to find a new battle cry against homeschooling.

Michael Farris,  Founder of Homeschool Legal Defense   Association, in an article entitled “The Third Wave of Homeschooling  Persecution” states, a new wave of attack is heading our way. But whereas  the last two attacks have been proven false, this one is true, especially for  LDS homeschoolers. This is an attack we need to know about and actively work  to fight against. The argument according to Farris is “Christian homeschoolers  are effectively transmitting values to their children that elitists believe are  dangerous to the well-being of both these very children and society as a  whole.”

What are those  values? Marriage is ordained of God and should be between a man and a woman;  Jesus Christ is our Savior; there is a moral compass of right and wrong. All  the values that make up a religious upbringing for our children and that allow  us to pass on our religious beliefs to the next generation.

Michael Farris quotes Kimberly A. Yuracko, a professor from  Northwestern University School of Law, from an article in the California Law  Review, that there are legal and constitutional limits on the ability of  homeschooling parents to “teach their children idiosyncratic and illiberal  beliefs and values”. She states that there must be new legal mandates of  government control of educational choices for those children whose “parents  want to teach against the enlightenment”. Enlightenment? That’s an interesting  way of putting it.

In the May  2010 issue  of the William and Mary Bill of Rights Journal, Catherine Ross, a law professor  from George Washington Law School, published an article entitled  “Fundamentalist Challenge to Core Democratic Values: Exit and Homeschooling” states; ”Many Liberal  political theorists argue, however, that there are limits to tolerance. In  order for the norm of tolerance to survive across generations, society need not  and should not tolerate the inculcation of absolutist views that undermine  toleration of difference. Respect for differences should not be confused with  approval for approaches that would splinter us into countless warring groups.  Hence an argument  that tolerance for  diverse views and values is a foundational principle does not conflict with the  notion that the state can and should limit the ability of intolerant  homeschoolers to inculcate hostility to difference in their children—at least  during the portion of the day they claim to devote to satisfying the compulsory  schooling requirement.”

She continues, “ If a parent  subscribes to an absolute belief system premised on the notion that it was handed  down by a creator, that it (like the Ten Commandments ) is etched in stone and  that all other systems are wrong, the essential lessons of a civil education  (i.e., tolerance and mutual respect) often seem deeply challenging and suspect.   If the core principle in a parent’s belief system is that there is only one  immutable truth that cannot be questioned, many educational topics will be off  limits. Such “private truths” have no place in the public arena, including  public schools.“

Ms. Ross’s solution  to the problem is mandatory curriculum requirements and state oversight. And if  we really want to end this problem, private education should be banned. All of  it, private, religious and homeschools.

She closes with, “Parental expressive interest could supplement, but never  supplant the public institutions where the basic and fundamental lesson would  be taught and experienced by all American children: we must struggle together  to define ourselves both as a collective and as individuals”.

The word collective  is a frightening word. The Constitution and collectives are mutually exclusive. We can see the evidence of this thinking in what is  happening in the public schools, especially in California where parental rights  are being eroded away in the name of tolerance and enlightenment. Children are  being taught things that go against the values of their parents without their  parent’s knowledge or permission!

There is much more to understand in the article, including  information on the U. N. Convention on the Rights of the Child. This is a  dangerous treaty that will seriously curtail parental rights and help make our  children wards of the state. It is not something to ignore.

So, how do we fight this growing trend? Is it possible for  us to prevail against such growing evil? Michael Farris thinks we can. We have   won before, against formidable odds. As he puts it, the only reason we won the  last battles was because the Lord was on our side! He believes the Lord will  help us win this one too. But we have to watch and be ready. Here are some ways he  suggests:

1. We still need homeschooling organizations! This  is how we won the last battles. When information needs to get  to the people quickly, homeschool  organizations can pass it along promptly.(I remember a few years ago, in New Jersey, the state legislature wanted  to put limits on homeschoolers. The word went out and hundreds of people were  at the state capital, letting the law makers know that this was not what the  people wanted. The legislation didn’t pass. There is power in the people!)
2. Pass the Parental Rights Amendment.  We must defeat the CRC! If we lose our rights  as parents we will also lose our rights to our children. A chilling thought.
3. Never give up! With God on our side we can  prevail!

My fear is that new  homeschoolers will not understand the battles we have fought to be able to  educate our children as we see fit. Now is a time of acceptance and  complacency for homeschoolers. It would be  easy to think that our rights are ever secure, but history and events of the  day show us this is not true.

Michael Farris concludes: “Persecution is on its  way. It is in the law reviews today. It will be in the courtrooms tomorrow.  They are going to try to win. They are going to throw everything at us they can….. Truth is on our side. Freedom is on our side. The American Constitution is on our side. And all of that  matters, so long as we remain faithfully on God’s side. Stand up for Jesus  and He will never leave us or forsake  us.“

I pray that it is so!

To read the Michael Farris article in full click here.

To learn more about The Convention on the Rights  of the Child, Click here. 

Dr. Seuss Party!

We celebrate  reading in March to commemorate Dr. Seuss's birthday. Every year we throw a  party with our home school friends and others... this year you are invited to  throw a party of your own! Here is how we do it:

Pick the date.

Dr. Seuss  was born on March 2nd and was a great contributor to young children's success  in reading.  The books are fun and the  illustrations are fabulous! Our party is not always on the 2nd, but is in the  month of March.

Invite people EARLY. Send out a  red and white striped invitation and ask people to do and bring a couple of  things:

2. Each child is required to share with the group.1. It's a potluck, so bring a Dr. Seuss inspired food (green  eggs and ham always show up) or a food based on your favorite book (biscuits  from Little House on the Prairie, bananas from Curious George, etc.)

• Elementary  aged children tell about their favorite book.
• Middle  and High School students write and tell about their favorite author.

3. Each child needs to bring "A Shelf for Myself". 4. Please bring gently used books for the Book Swap.

Before the Party Ask parents  to go through their bookshelves and donate books they no longer want. We ask  around the neighborhood to gather books, too. Set up a  long table for the kids to place their "A Shelf for Myself" boxes. Set up the  dining area for the pot luck snacks. Set up the room where all will share their favorite books. Hide a Dr.  Seuss's Grinch (or other character)  in your house in plain sight... give a prize for anyone who finds it. At the Party Welcome  everyone at the door in costume. You can have book covers hanging on the wall, a  "Cat in the Hat" hat making station, name tags,  "name that famous Dr. Seuss character"  game, or there are tons of fun ideas to do online. Party  Itinerary

• guests  arrive.
• have  them put food, and "A Shelf for Myself" in the appropriate place.  Invite one or 2 parents to set up the Book Swap.
• "Guess  the Dr. Seuss Character" game.
• Tell  them the Grinch is hiding around the house, to find him--but don't tell the  others.
• Right  before the presentations, hand out paper and pencils so kids can write down  book titles they would like to read from the presentations and from the book  shelves.
• Book  Presentations.
• Invite  all to have snacks and browse through the "A Shelf for Myself" area.
• Book  Swap. (We have the kids line up youngest to oldest and they each get to pick 1  book the first time through. Depending on how many books you have we just have  them keep going through until the books are gone. One year a friend was moving  and donated seven boxes of books! Everyone went home with an armload and a BIG  smile!).

This is a  fun way to continue encouraging reading and we always love to throw a party!  The kids can have some fun dressing up and sharing. Our kids always come home  with a list of new books to read! Success!

"A Shelf For  Myself" Kids love to  have their "own" books. Each of the kids have their own bookshelf in  their room where special books are kept. We have a family library in the school  room and hallway, but the bookshelf in their room is just for them. When we have  our Dr. Seuss party in March, we invite all the young kids to bring "A  Shelf for Myself" made from a paper box. Simply take a box and cut off all  but one flap. Tip it over and you have a shelf! (The extra flap is a cover for  the box when it is time to transport.) We encourage all the kids to decorate  their shelf with paper then choose some of their favorite books to put on their  shelf. It is fun to see which titles they choose--which books have made a  difference to them!

Let the Holy Spirit Guide

A Day in the Life with Pearls of Great Price

A few years ago, my daughter and I received interesting gifts from my mother-in-law:  individually canned gift oysters.  I was appreciative and intrigued by them, but for some reason I had a feeling that we should wait to “open” them. I wasn’t sure what we were waiting for exactly; I just knew that when we received them wasn’t the time, so I tucked them away with other “ocean stuff.”

Fast forward something like five years, to this week, when I discovered that today was the day to open the oysters!  I didn’t know today was the day until this morning, but when I realized it, I was sure glad I’d been given the gift and had saved it.  I was also glad for a marvelously wise Father in Heaven who knows all, and for the communication of the Holy Ghost who told me when to wait, and when to act.

My family is currently doing an astronomy unit.  In my preparations to bring the scriptures into the unit, I was studying the book of Abraham.  It occurred to me that before delving into what was revealed to Abraham, we should talk about who he was and how we came to have his revelations.  Using the Pearl of Great Price Student Manual produced by the Church, I went to make sure I had my facts straight.  In the process, I came across a statement that affected me:

“The Prophet Joseph Smith never communicated his method of translating these records. As with all other scriptures, a testimony of the truthfulness of these writings is primarily a matter of faith....”

I then thought of all the books we Latter-day Saints call scripture and it came to mind that three of the four originate with Joseph Smith:  he translated the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants is the collection of revelations received mostly by him, and the Pearl of Great Price contains his history, his translations, revisions of the Bible as revealed to him, along with the statements of our faith written by him.  I realized that I had never stopped to consider how much Joseph Smith’s hands had touched all of my core beliefs.  I guess I’d always just thought of the scriptures as, well, scripture, and accepted that in a matter-of-fact way.

As I sat pondering this, I realized that it was “Testimony Tuesday.”  (In my home we’re doing rotating daily devotionals, with recurring daily themes.)  I decided it was the perfect dual lesson; we’d diagram what all of our scriptures are and where each book came from, talk about how you really have to have a testimony of Joseph Smith as a prophet of God to accept most of our scriptures (or, if you have a testimony that these scriptures are the word of God, it must then follow that Joseph Smith was a prophet), and it would segue into Abraham and astronomy.

I sat down with my children to begin.  In a flash, by direction of the Spirit, a powerful lesson was laid out before me.  We read Matthew 13:45-46:  “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:  Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.”

I pulled out the string of pearls my husband and children gave me for Christmas and asked the kids if they knew where pearls come from.

 I then pulled out the canned gift oysters and everyone watched, fascinated, as I pried open the shell and then poked and squeezed the wet, fleshy tissue of the shellfish in search of a pearl.

We talked about why pearls are so valuable.  This led to a search as to the history of pearl gathering, which sheds enormous light on Matthew 13:45-46.  Unlike gold or precious gems, pearls are not mined from the ground, nor must they be cut and polished; a pearl’s beauty is natural and needs no intervention from man.  Pearls are the only gem made by a living organism, emanating a warm luster like an inner glow rather than a cold, shiny sparkle.  In ancient times, pearls were extraordinarily rare, and finding them was difficult and dangerous. It took searching (and destroying) beds of many mollusks to collect just a few gems.  It’s written that at the height of the Roman Empire, and entire military campaign was financed by Roman general Vitellius by selling just one of his mother’s pearl earrings.[1] And while these days we’ve learned to culture and farm pearls, naturally occurring pearls are still rare and expensive.  It’s no wonder we refer to pearls in the way we do with phrases like “pearls of wisdom,” and that the Lord spoke of “casting pearls before swine.”[2]

So, the kingdom of heaven, meaning the kingdom of God on earth, meaning the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is compared to a pearl of great price,[3] and we have a book of translations, narrations, and revelations named as such.  How, then, should we consider this book of scripture?  Why should this particular book of scripture be named “Pearl of Great Price”?

“Elder Milton R. Hunter, who was a member of the Seventy, said that the Pearl of Great Price is ‘a pearl indeed.’ He then explained the uniqueness of its sacred writings:

“’They are compacted in approximately sixty pages, but every page is dynamic and powerful. It is a wonderful book.

“’The Pearl of Great Price...contains revelations on certain subjects superior to any other scriptures or writings on those subjects found in the world...”[4]

“Elder Mark E. Petersen, who was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, testified that the Pearl of Great Price ‘contains some of the greatest revelations of God to man.’”[5]

So, that was our lesson, with all its layers. I think that having to dig out those pearls from the squishy body of the oyster made an impression that nicely demonstrated the importance and value of scripture. I recommend the object lesson.  But more than that, I want to bear my testimony that the Holy Ghost is real and that God does indeed know all. It was at least five years ago that we received those oysters and I knew I shouldn’t open them then. I could never have known I’d need them for today. And I didn’t have a real plan for our discussion this morning until this morning—it came to me, along with the reminder that I had those oysters. (And it was a miracle I could even find them! That was the Holy Ghost’s doing as well.) I know that as we seek, ask, and listen, we’ll be directed to those lessons, methods, and experiences that will mean the most and make lasting impressions.  Homeschooling is so much more effective when we partner with the Lord.

---

[1] Monica’s of Melbourne. (n.d.). Pearl Jewelry, The Magic of Pearls. A 2 Z of Health, Beauty and Fitness. Retrieved  March 13, 2012.  From http://health.learninginfo.org/pearl-jewelry.htm

[2] Matthew 7:6

[3] McConkie, Bruce R. (1966). Mormon Doctrine (2^nd ed.). Salt Lake City, UT:  Bookcraft, Inc.

[4] Intellectual Reserve (2000). The Pearl of great Price Student Manual.

[5]Ibid

The Spirit is the Ultimate Teacher

by Andrew Wood

We’ve all heard prophets and apostles teach about the magnificence of the rising generation. Recently, Elder David A Bednar said: "Parents and Church leaders frequently emphasize that the young men and young women of this generation have been reserved for this season in the history of the world and are some of the most valiant of Heavenly Father’s children. Indeed, such statements are true." (In “Things as they really are” BYU address May 3 2009)

I, for one, reading these words feel their truth, and am grateful to have prophets in our day that can help us see things as they really are. The Lord knows each of us, and wants us all to return to Him. In these trying times He has reserved a special generation to come forth and ultimately change the world. The Lord said:"Verily, verily, I say unto you, I give unto you to be the salt of the earth; but if the salt shall lose its savor wherewith shall the earth be salted? The salt shall be thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out and to be trodden under foot of men.” (3 Nephi 12:13)

Recently, I have given a lot of thought to these truths. Last week the question came to mind “Wait a minute, what about the previous generation?” I hope that in our zeal to buoy up our children and youth, we do not lose sight of the Lord’s love and respect for the parents and guides of this precious generation. Truly the Lord would not send His choice spirits to earth without sending parents capable of teaching them to harness their capacity for righteousness. I know the Lord has a plan for each and every generation. He has sent us to earth to be examples to this rising generation. We must not forget to live up to our divine potential in mortality. We can’t teach our youth to stand up and be who ‘they really are’ unless we are striving to be who we need to be.

The Lord has given us guidance to know how to rear our children. The beauty of teaching in the home is that it gives us the flexibility to custom fit the education to our children’s needs. We know who they are supposed to be. We can help them see it and reach it by reaching it ourselves. It is said that education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire. Can we help them ignite their flame if ours are only cooled embers? Our thirst for knowledge and wisdom will transfer to our children. It’s highly contagious. I am sure you can think of times when your children’s insatiable curiosity has rekindled your own. 

Whether the analogy be fire or salt, we know what the Lord expects of us. We have a duty to Him and to our children. We must be the mentors for the generation "with the greatest capacity for righteousness" (Elder Neal A Maxwell, as quoted by Elder Bednar, Liahona June 2010).

We generally know what attributes we or our children need to work on, but often we are unaware of microscopic flaws in our character that translate into macroscopic issues in the culture of our families and homes. (More on family culture in a later article). By way of practicality, I have often observed that the best introspection is honest and prayerful reflection. Each home, each family, each individual differs greatly. The dynamic of having so many “individuals” crammed together into a “family” can generate "growth experiences" to say the least. 

I wish I could give you a ready recipe for success complete with “To Do” lists and colorful reminders, but the only surefire way to succeed in the home is to ask Heavenly Father how He wants this child raised. Each child is different, and we must be able to adapt to their abilities and limitations, their strengths and weaknesses. The best way to do that is to foster a home where the Spirit is the ultimate teacher, the one who has all the answers to all the questions. If you give a child an answer, you satisfy them for a moment, if you teach a child to receive their own answers from Heaven, they “shall not hunger, neither shall [they] thirst”. That is the path to eternal life and fulfilling our missions in mortality.

The Lord will not leave us alone or abandoned if we but seek His will for His precious youth. He knows we can succeed. He will never set us up for failure. We simply must have the faith to face the challenge of rearing this great generation.

Leave a comment for our guest writer here!

Runaway Days

by Michele Bolton

Originally published in July of 2005 in the Sentinel

"Some days are like that. Even in Australia."

Have you ever felt like poor Alexander in Judith Viorst's Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No- Good, Very-Bad Day? You know the kind of day I'm talking about: A previous night's-worth of insufficient sleep, accompanied by bags under the eyes that seem to stretch your whole body down to your knees? The kind of day that finds some perfumed, painted and pompadoured neighbor/friend/Relief Society sister (pick one, I've had 'em all) at your door while you stand in your holey jeans and two- day-old t-shirt with wet hair (hey, I give you credit, at least you're clean) surrounded by your darlin' little monkeys in various stages of mood and dress? The kind where your bed isn't made and all the rooms are declared National Disaster Areas, where one child won't do his math while another won't stop following you around the house asking "Why?" and the baby is sitting on the dining table cheerfully consuming an open jar of peanut butter whilst wearing a diaper you're sure no HAZMAT team would touch? Where your mother calls "just to let you know" how Dad is so worried your kids will be backwards troglodytes in Plato's cave because you don't put them in public school? You feel flat as a pancake without baking powder, life seems a bleak, barren desert of unending chores filled with restless little natives who make "Mom!" sound like a swear word, and no end in sight.

So what's a rational woman to do? I don't know. Rational is the last word I'd use to describe me, even on my most "with it" days. This mad woman, after clonking her head against the wall a couple of times to clear out the fog, stands up straight, and in her most decisive tone possible declares, "Runaway Day!"

Now, you say, responsible people don't run away. They stick it out, come what may. (Ooh, a cute little rhyme!) But, when you're at the end of your rope on your very last nerve, something has to happen. And our solution is to...run away.

I am not saying, "throw in the towel, chuck it all," well, at least, not forever. Just for a day, or two. We work hard, really, most of the time, sitting down and doing our "lessons" (we hate to say "school") so I think it's okay to say "We've had enough. Let's take a break." It gives us permission to step back, take the load off for a while and regroup. It doesn't tell my kids to be lazy or quitters or to not face their problems. It says that a strategic retreat every once in a while can actually help win a war.

Our first runaway day was in the late spring, early summer of our first year in a new home, new area, having moved further from family and friends. Boy was slogging along at his lessons, baby Girl was glued to my leg. I was lonely, depressed and feeling a little housebound. Inspiration struck, we packed up and headed to the lake where I sat and watched my kids play in the sand and test the waters (we even spotted a fish!). We went home tired, sandy and altogether satisfied. Hubby asked, "What did you do today?" My response? "We ran away for the day." He shrugged his shoulders, being by-now accustomed to my weird ideas and dialog, totally trusting in me as a wife and mother to keep everyone safe and happy.

And you know what? We were. The next day we still had to face mathematics and dirty dishes and the awesome task of carving a niche in a new land, but we'd had a break, and were stronger now to face what had to be done, lessons, housework, et. al. Call it escapism, call it what you will, running away now and then is good for the soul.

The Next Battle...

by Dana Wood

When I first started thinking about homeschooling my children it was in the early Eighties. Very few people were even thinking about homeschooling and those who were, people thought were anti-social, wacky people. For that reason my husband was less than enthusiastic about the idea. 

By the time I had kids old enough for preschool I knew I was never going to send them. I started doing preschool at home with them. We did crazy things like painting with chocolate pudding, using bubble mix on the floor and scooting from one side of the kitchen to the other. We made alphabet letters out of dough and ate them.  We did crafts of all kinds. It was so fun! I knew I wanted to do this for “real” school as well. It was a difficult decision because in some states it was illegal and in others it was a recipe for harassment from the local school authorities. My husband’s real fear was that our children would be taken away from us. 

We moved to Texas which was a huge blessing. The Leeper case was making its way through the Texas courts, challenging the legal status of homeschooling. That meant that homeschooling was temporally legal and the authorities couldn’t harass parents that chose to homeschool.  The battle was about academic excellence. How could a homeschool provide an equivalent education as the public school? 

So, once my oldest son reached compulsory school age, I went down to the local school superintendent to sign the papers to be allowed to homeschool. The woman was less than supportive, and was just short of rude about the whole thing. As I left the office she said rudely, “You know, teaching is harder than you think.  You will not be able to do this. We will accept your son at the elementary school after Christmas break when you realize this was a bad decision.” That stiffened my resolve. There was no way my son was attending school in this district!

Once the Leeper case was decided in favor of homeschooling, other states started the process to legalize homeschooling, some willingly, others fighting it tooth and nail. That was the first homeschool battle - Was homeschooling legal? Yes, it was and we won the battle.  Homeschooling could provide an excellent education.

The second battle homeschoolers have fought is the battle cry,  ”But what about socialization?” When my oldest got to be high school age the critics came out of the woodwork, telling us that we were ruining our children because they would lack the social skills to make it in the real world. Well, I knew the real world was not high school! Now that homeschoolers are out in the real world, working, being parents, and gasp! graduating from college and doing it with style, the critics had to find a new battle cry against homeschooling.

Michael Farris, Founder of Homeschool Legal Defense  Association, in an article entitled “The Third Wave of Homeschooling Persecution” states, a new wave of attack is heading our way. But whereas the last two attacks have been proven false, this one is true, especially for LDS homeschoolers. This is an attack we need to know about and actively work to fight against. The argument according to Farris is “Christian homeschoolers are effectively transmitting values to their children that elitists believe are dangerous to the well-being of both these very children and society as a whole.”

What are those values? Marriage is ordained of God and should be between a man and a woman; Jesus Christ is our Savior; there is a moral compass of right and wrong. All the values that make up a religious upbringing for our children and that allow us to pass on our religious beliefs to the next generation. 

Michael Farris quotes Kimberly A. Yuracko, a professor from Northwestern University School of Law, from an article in the California Law Review, that there are legal and constitutional limits on the ability of homeschooling parents to “teach their children idiosyncratic and illiberal beliefs and values”. She states that there must be new legal mandates of government control of educational choices for those children whose “parents want to teach against the enlightenment”. Enlightenment? That’s an interesting way of putting it.

In the May  2010 issue of the William and Mary Bill of Rights Journal, Catherine Ross, a law professor from George Washington Law School, published an article entitled “Fundamentalist Challenge to Core Democratic Values: Exit and Homeschooling” states; ”Many Liberal political theorists argue, however, that there are limits to tolerance. In order for the norm of tolerance to survive across generations, society need not and should not tolerate the inculcation of absolutist views that undermine toleration of difference. Respect for differences should not be confused with approval for approaches that would splinter us into countless warring groups. Hence an argument  that tolerance for diverse views and values is a foundational principle does not conflict with the notion that the state can and should limit the ability of intolerant homeschoolers to inculcate hostility to difference in their children—at least during the portion of the day they claim to devote to satisfying the compulsory schooling requirement.”

She continues, “ If a parent subscribes to an absolute belief system premised on the notion that it was handed down by a creator, that it (like the Ten Commandments ) is etched in stone and that all other systems are wrong, the essential lessons of a civil education (i.e., tolerance and mutual respect) often seem deeply challenging and suspect. If the core principle in a parent’s belief system is that there is only one immutable truth that cannot be questioned, many educational topics will be off limits. Such “private truths” have no place in the public arena, including public schools.“

Ms. Ross’s solution to the problem is mandatory curriculum requirements and state oversight. And if we really want to end this problem, private education should be banned. All of it, private, religious and homeschools. 

She closes with, “Parental expressive interest could supplement, but never supplant the public institutions where the basic and fundamental lesson would be taught and experienced by all American children: we must struggle together to define ourselves both as a collective and as individuals”. 

The word collective is a frightening word. The Constitution and collectives are mutually exclusive. We can see the evidence of this thinking in what is happening in the public schools, especially in California where parental rights are being eroded away in the name of tolerance and enlightenment. Children are being taught things that go against the values of their parents without their parent’s knowledge or permission!

There is much more to understand in the article, including information on the U. N. Convention on the Rights of the Child. This is a dangerous treaty that will seriously curtail parental rights and help make our children wards of the state. It is not something to ignore. 

So, how do we fight this growing trend? Is it possible for us to prevail against such growing evil? Michael Farris thinks we can. We have won before, against formidable odds. As he puts it, the only reason we won the last battles was because the Lord was on our side! He believes the Lord will help us win this one too. But we have to watch and be ready. Here are some ways he suggests:

1. We still need homeschooling organizations! This is how we won the last battles. When information needs to get  to the people quickly, homeschool organizations can pass it along promptly.  
   
   (I remember a few years ago, in New Jersey, the state legislature wanted to put limits on homeschoolers. The word went out and hundreds of people were at the state capital, letting the law makers know that this was not what the people wanted. The legislation didn’t pass. There is power in the people!)
    
2. Pass the Parental Rights Amendment.  We must defeat the CRC! If we lose our rights as parents we will also lose our rights to our children. A chilling thought. 
    
3. Never give up! With God on our side we can prevail!

My fear is that new homeschoolers will not understand the battles we have fought to be able to educate our children as we see fit. Now is a time of acceptance and  complacency for homeschoolers. It would be easy to think that our rights are ever secure, but history and events of the day show us this is not true. 

Michael Farris concludes: “Persecution is on its way. It is in the law reviews today. It will be in the courtrooms tomorrow. They are going to try to win. They are going to throw everything at us they can….. Truth is on our side. Freedom is on our side. The American Constitution is on our side. And all of that matters, so long as we remain faithfully on God’s side. Stand up for Jesus and He will never leave us or forsake us.“

I pray that it is so!

To read the Michael Farris article in full click here.

To learn more about The Convention on the Rights of the Child, Click here.  

You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestions here on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Dana