My Favorite Things

I have a confession to make. I spent most of the week before public school started fantasizing about sending my kids back to public school. I was feeling tired and worn out after a busy summer, and the lure of spending my days alone, in my clean, quiet house was almost more than I could take. Of course, once I took a moment to really think about how I feel about public education, I knew there was no sending them back. Unfortunately, that knowledge didn’t do much to change my attitude. In the midst of all my self-pity, I managed to drag our family to homeschool park day. I sat there and visited, discussed up-coming plans, new curriculums and books while the kids ran and played. Enjoying a beautiful summer day with friends helped clear away my bad attitude and reminded me of how much I love this lifestyle: the freedom, the love of learning, the joy of new discoveries and the incredible blessing of time with my children.

I went home with renewed commitment and a grateful heart. Over the next few days I started noticing all the amazing things that are part of our lives because of homeschooling. I knew there would be more hard days ahead (there always are!) so I made a list of my favorite things about homeschooling. That way I will be ready the next time my commitment wavers.

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1.  Time to pursue passions and develop talents. People look at me funny when I say one of the hardest things about homeschooling is dealing with all the creative energy. However, sometimes being peppered with questions about everything from chemistry to robotics while fielding requests for assistance with writing, art, math, the piano, guitar and the sewing machine (all at the same time) can be a little overwhelming! Really though, I love seeing their enthusiasm for life and their intense interests in so many different things.  I love the sound of music and eager voices that fills our home. 2.  Family closeness. I’ve had so many mothers tell me they could never homeschool because their kids would kill each other. That always makes me sad. I wish they could see how tight-knit homeschooling families are. My children truly love to be together. We spend hours and hours working and playing together, which has created relationships in our home that are better than any relationships outside the home. What a blessing to be best friends with the people we will spend eternity with!

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3.  Time to explore. Last week we spent a Tuesday morning exploring some caves near our home. As we climbed over boulders and shimmied down chutes I thought of all those children sitting in school. I was so gratefully to literally be able to learn “outside the box”.

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4.  Greater opportunities to study the gospel. Last week I found my 8 year old daughter asleep, long after bedtime, in the chair in her room. Her scriptures lay open on her lap. My children love to study the scriptures, hold devotional and family home evening, and memorize Articles of Faith. There are many wonderful parents outside the homeschool community who do these things, but I know it is much easier to instill a love of the gospel when children are not pressed for time and sleep. 5.  Freedom to develop a sense of self. When my children were young I worried that they would have a hard time developing their own personalities. I feared that spending so much time together would make them all alike. Boy was I wrong! Rather than encouraging conformity, homeschooling has allowed them the freedom to be whoever they want to be. My oldest loves art, science, and swimming. His younger brother loves computers, biking, cooking and the electric guitar. I really have never seen two siblings with more diverse interests.

6.  Opportunities to learn real life skills. Reading, math and history are all important things to know, but every homeschool mom knows that some of the greatest lessons are learned “outside of the classroom”. Taking care of a home and garden, caring for young children, shopping smart, and knowing how to access resources in the community – these are all incredibly valuable skills that blossom when we educate our children at home.

It’s true that homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. It can be a lot of hard work. Fortunately, even the hard days are full of amazing blessings!

Trusting the Process

Ahh - summer, nothing to do but relax and enjoy vacation, unless of course, you’re a homeschooler. Then it’s time to attend homeschool conferences, study up on the latest homeschool books, clean out your schoolroom and plan, plan, plan for the next school year! In the midst of all this educational flurry I think it’s important to review the history of homeschooling. Many homeschoolers don’t realize that the modern homeschooling movement started in the 1970s, fueled primarily by the work of John Holt. Holt was a disillusioned educator who felt that the public education system was damaged beyond repair and that children stood a far better chance of success at home. He was quick to point out that recreating school at home was unlikely to be any more successful. He said that, “children, without being coerced or manipulated, or being put in exotic, specially prepared environments, or having their thinking planned and ordered for them, can, will, and do pick up from the world around them important information about what we call the Basics. “

This belief - that children who are placed in an enriching and supportive environment will learn everything they need - inspired an entire generation of homeschoolers. They proved that children could go on to lead successful and enriching lives, without the restraints of formal education. Unfortunately, the homeschool movement became so successful that many companies started to see it as a prime business opportunity. As the years went by, homeschool curriculums multiplied exponentially.  (I could use my Rainbow Resource catalog for weight lifting).

As more and more children left public school, the charter schools saw the opportunity to capitalize on the movement by offering online programs. While there is good to be found in all of these options, it’s important to remember the philosophy that homeschooling was founded on: that children don’t need a fancy environment or “special” books or programs, they don’t need specialists or professionals to teach them. What they need is an environment rich in educational opportunities and love. I have a friend who calls it creating a vacuum. When our homes are full of books, games, conversation, and ideas, our children can’t help but be sucked in. As hard as it is, we have to “trust the process”. Not only trust that children will learn when given the opportunity, but also that the Lord will provide the ideas, people and resources we need to help them in their journey.

I will be the first to admit that at times the responsibility of educating my children seems mind boggling and overwhelming. But, as the years go by I am constantly amazed by the small miracles that seem to flow through our lives and how the Lord provides for my children’s needs. The examples are too numerous to list, but one blessing stands out in my mind. Last year I attended a homeschool parent meeting held at a local private school. While I was there I had a conversation with the school’s director. She is a former homeschooler and an inspiring teacher. She mentioned that she was starting a dyslexia tutoring program at her school. When I told her about the work I’d done with my profoundly dyslexic son, she offered me a job working for her as a tutor. That offer provided me with numerous hours of training that have greatly improved my ability to work with my son’s learning disabilities. She taught me so much about the gift of dyslexia. Another unexpected blessing came over the course of the year, as her voice of wisdom and encouragement gave me the courage to keep homeschooling my teenager through high school.

This is only one example of the many ways the Lord has blessed our homeschool. He knows our family’s needs and He knows how much I love my children. I have to remember that He loves my children too and that He has a plan for each of them. As I put my trust in Him, rather than the commercial interests of the homeschool movement, He will provide for our family’s every need.

Something's Got To Give...

It was almost with a sense of glee that I erased events off my calendar when my children all came down with the flu this winter. I only felt the tiniest bit of guilt as I thought about how great it was going to be to just sit around and read books and watch movies together and not go anywhere. It crossed my mind that those feelings might be an indication that we were over-scheduled, but it wasn’t until sometime in December that I realized we really had a problem. In between an insane amount of running around, I was spending more time daydreaming about having a mental breakdown than I was enjoying the Christmas season. When the thought of losing your mind, so you can get out of your commitments, seems like a good idea, you know something’s got to give!

Everyone kept telling me, you need to learn to say “no”. Saying “no” wasn’t the problem; I could say no to lots of things: I said “no” to my exercise time; I said “no” to sitting down and eating a healthy breakfast; I said “no” to sleep; I said “no” to my visiting teachers when I didn’t have time for their visit; I said “no” to devotional when our morning was just too crazy; and I even said “no” to the sign-up sheet at church asking us to make center pieces for the ward party.

The problem wasn’t that I couldn’t say “no”, it was that I kept saying “yes” to my kids: “yes” you can take dance lessons, yoga and piano; “yes” I will drive you to swim team, theater practice, robotics, book club, and scouts; “yes” you can get another new pet, and I will drive to the pet store every week to get it fresh crickets; “yes” I will spend hours every week volunteering at your co-ops; “yes”, my little one, you can crawl into my bed in the wee hours of the morning; and “yes”, my teenagers, you can keep me up talking half the night.

I want to give my kids everything. I want them to have access to every educational opportunity, to be exposed to great ideas and great people, to have friends and time to socialize with other kids.  I want them to feel that my time and attention is always at their disposal. I also want them to have a mother who is sane, one who doesn’t wish illness on them so she can have two minutes to breathe.

So, we started to cut things out. It was a painful process for all of us. We dropped out of dance lessons, book club, theater and one of our co-ops. I’m working on enforcing how early and late my kids can demand my attention. Overall, life has been much more peaceful and mom has been a lot less grumpy, but I still alternate between feeling grateful for the space on the day’s schedule and feeling like there’s enough room to squeeze something else in. I just have to remind myself that every commitment I make is taking away opportunities for spontaneous activities, family bonding and peaceful reflection. I need quiet time in my life to be the mother who can say “yes” to the most important things in life.

A Day in the Life...

I love fall. I love the cooler days, the return to routine and all the fresh new school supplies! I also love all the new homeschoolers. Families who are just starting on this homeschool journey are so full of enthusiasm and new ideas. They’re also full of questions! One of the most common questions I hear is, “what does your day look like?” People want to know the nitty gritty details. How exactly does someone go about implementing all those great homeschool ideas? Unfortunately, that’s a hard question to answer, because homeschooling is a uniquely personal experience, but I do have a few tips and ideas.

1. Be aware of the legal requirements. Each state has different homeschool laws, but they are all spelled out on HSLDA. Once the requirements are known, it’s important to realize that things aren’t always what they seem. For example, in the state of Utah, we are required to “do school” 6 hours a day, 180 days a year. That does not mean a homeschooler has to spend 6 hours a day sitting at the table doing workbooks. Any type of educational activity counts, for example: reading together, playing games, going on fieldtrips, art projects, watching documentaries, scouting, gymnastics, soccer, 4H, the list goes on and on. I’ve never yet met a homeschooler who wasn’t doing 6 hours a day of “school”.
2. Be realistic. The world is full of amazing things to do and fabulous books to read. It is not all going to happen this year. As painful as it is, the summer list of inspiring subjects and projects will have to be pared down to a manageable amount. Every year I have to think carefully about what subjects and activities are most important to our family, and I have to let the rest go.
3. Have fun. Homeschooling is about building families and creating a love of learning, so enjoy it! Relationships have to come first, so make the home a place where children love to be and where learning is fun! A wise friend of mine gave me some good advice this year, she said, “remember, a little goes a long ways.” And she’s right: we don’t have to spend hours every day torturing ourselves and our children with “education”. Life is full of learning opportunities—give everyone the time and the freedom to make the most of them.
4. Simplify. There are several subjects that can be studied together as a family. Doing so will simplify the day and create stronger family bonds. History, science, geography and literature are great subjects to do together. (Not that all those subjects need to be done every day or even every year, remember, prioritize!)
5. Guard school time. I’ve found over the years that if I don’t block out my mornings, we never seem to get any work done. It’s easy to let doctor’s appointments, visiting teaching, and errands crowd out our studies, so I have to be firm about protecting that time.
6. Put the Lord first. Always start the day with devotional. Even if it’s a simple song and prayer, the day goes much smoother when we ask for His help first. When you are trying to figure out what subjects to study and how to reach each of your children, ask Him! He loves them and He knows them, He will guide you as you strive to do what’s best for your family.

And now for the nitty, gritty. Like I said before, every homeschool family is different, and everyone has to find what works best for them, but just as an example, here’s a look at my “day in the life of a homeschooler”.

7:30 Everybody up, breakfast, dishes, get dressed.

8:30 Devotional

8:45 History

9:30 My high-schooler goes to release time seminary. My middle-schooler works independently on his math, typing, literature, and writing. I do math and language arts with my elementary kids.

11:00 My elementary kids are “done” for the day. They play while I help my middle-schooler with any questions. My high-schooler starts on his independent work; math, literature, typing, and writing.

12:00 Lunch. After lunch we work on a read aloud book together.

1:00 My middle-schooler moves on to his “elective subjects”: computer programming, building projects, reptile keeping. My high-schooler finishes his work and moves on to his “elective subjects”: art, origami, reading. I read out loud with my younger kids.

2:00 Time for lessons, sports, friends, scouts, and errands!

This is a typical day, but many days are far from typical. Sometimes we decide to blow off school for a day at the park, or if we’re all sick, we just lay around and watch movies all day. Successful homeschoolers need to plan and be flexible. So, take a deep breath and enjoy each day in this homeschool journey!

Lessons of the Heart

In January my sister and her husband heard an ultrasound technician announce that they would soon be the parents of twins, a boy and a girl. Tragically, their joy soon turned to anxiety and fear as the ultrasound revealed that their little boy had a severe birth defect. A defect in his diaphragm had allowed all his abdominal organs to move into his chest cavity. The initial prognosis was bleak. Their family started doing everything they could to prepare for his coming, and the rest of us started to fast and pray. My youngest daughter, Aneya, is 6 years old. When we told her we would be having a family fast for her cousin, she said she wanted to join. Our family prayed for him every day and when fast Sunday came, all of our children fasted on his behalf. After four long months of fasting and prayer, Samuel and Clare were delivered at Children’s hospital. They were good size for twins and as healthy as they could be, except for Samuel’s life threating birth defect. He was rushed to the NICU where they were able to stabilize him and prepare him for his surgery five days later.

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Three weeks after his successful surgery, our children were able to visit him for the first time in the NICU. What really struck me during that visit was Aneya. She’s never been much for babies, maybe it’s being a youngest child, but they’ve never really interested her. Now she couldn’t get enough of her new cousins Clare and Samuel. She spent hours holding Clare and it was a tender moment as she gently stroked Samuel’s head and held his tiny hand in his incubator. As I reflected on the change in her attitude I realized the answer was simple - we love those we pray for.

I know that prayer is not an activity reserved for homeschoolers, but I truly feel that having the time to emphasize prayer and family is a great blessing that we often overlook. I’ve made the 5 hour trip to visit my sister and her babies three times in the last month, the freedom to end our school year a little early allowed me to do that. I have a friend who told me that the high school tried to fine her daughter for missing too many days of school when she went for a week to help her sister with a new baby. When we place more emphasis on academics than family, what are we teaching our children?

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The ills of our society, from low test scores, to crime and poverty are all rooted in the weakening of families. Our prophets have told us that. Until we take the time to be with our families, to pray for them and with them, aren’t we ignoring the heeding to strengthen the family? Home schooling gives us the time to teach more than just reading, writing and arithmetic, it allows us to teach our children the lessons of the heart.

Deal With It...

Several years ago I was the mother of a very stressed out little boy. My son started kindergarten as an inquisitive, creative, and loving child, but after three years in public school he was angry and withdrawn. We fought in the morning to get him to go to school, he spent all afternoon fighting with his siblings, and then we fought with him in the evening over homework. The doctor’s solution to all this anger and anxiety was anti-anxiety medication. When people started talking about drugging my eight-year old, it finally registered that we had to remove him from his toxic educational environment. Within two weeks of being home, his behavior drastically improved. He fought with his brothers less, talked to me more, and started drawing again. We were thrilled with the improvement, but there were lots of people who told me I was doing him a disfavor. They told me he just needed to learn to “deal with” school, and that by rescuing him I was keeping him from learning real life skills. My only response to these suggestions was to ask, “Is that what your ‘real’ life is like? Do you spend all day in a room with 25 other people and have only two square feet of personal space? Do you have to shift activities every 30 minutes, whether you are ready or not? Do you have absolutely no control over how and when you complete projects and assignments? Do you have to line up and march to the ring of a bell several times a day?” It never ceases to amaze me how society expects children to function in such an environment, when most adults couldn’t handle it themselves.

Stress and anxiety issues don’t disappear overnight, but in the right environment it can be much easier to learn the coping skills that are needed to be successful in life. We have found that for my son a key to stress management is lots and lots of creative space. When he has the time he needs to read, write and draw, he is better able to deal with other people and their demands. We’ve worked at finding opportunities for him to grow in confidence and ability outside of the school setting. For example, he has competed for several years on a Science Olympiad team and he has had multiple leadership opportunities at church and in scouting. Little by little I’ve seen him grow in his ability to manage his stress and to accomplish the things he wants to accomplish.

We moved to Utah last June and spent the summer looking for a new house. We visited a different ward almost every week. Most of the wards were short on young men, so my son would usually go up and ask if they could use some help with the sacrament. As I watched him quickly learn his new route and pass the sacrament to a congregation of strangers, I couldn’t help but think about how amazing it was that my scared, stressed out little boy had become such an amazing and confident young man. Home schooling provides the opportunity to do so much more than learn to “deal with life.” It teaches children how to “live life” and become all that our Heavenly Father wants them to be.

The Squirmy Days

A couple of weeks ago I went mountain biking for the very first time. I learned how to lower my center of gravity and sit far back from the handle bars. Last week I finally learned how to make a loaf of gluten free yeast bread. Over the last few weeks I have been learning how to care for our dog, which was recently diagnosed with diabetes. (A month ago I didn’t even know dogs could get diabetes!) I have been busy designing a new garden, figuring out how to use a new history curriculum, organizing a new home school group and entertaining a lot of family. Life has been full and busy, which is great except for one thing: I’m a writer (at least a wanna-be writer) and I am preoccupied by so many things I can’t write. The thought of sitting down for even 30 minutes and organizing my thoughts on a single topic is almost torturous.

My early bout of spring fever has given me some serious empathy for my squirmy, active children. Sometimes they are excited about our day’s written work, but there are other days when glares and moans of agony are all that meet my request to get out a pencil. So what’s a mom to do when neither she nor her children can sit still?  Here are a few things that seem to help with those wiggly days.

1. Establish a routine. At our house we try to start our seated work at approximately the same time every morning. When we all know what to expect it’s easier to settle into the day.
    
2. Take frequent breaks. Sometimes it is tempting to make kids sit until they’re done with an assignment, especially when they are stalling and droopy. However, I find that if I have them run a few stairs or spend a few minutes on the trampoline they come back energized and ready to get to work.
    
3. Work movement into the lesson plan. When I let my kids color or play with Legos while I read aloud it helps everyone focus on the material. Any project that doesn’t involve a pencil and paper is always met with enthusiasm. 
    
4. Encourage study and exploration of topics that are of interest to the kids. We are all better at focusing when we’re studying something that is interesting to us. 
    
5. Break up the routine. As important as routines are, life gets pretty darn boring when we do the same exact thing every. single. day.
    
6. Recognize that there truly are times and seasons. It is normal for interests to ebb and flow. All I wanted to do all summer was write. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Now it’s like pulling teeth. So I’m going to cut myself some slack, learn and do things that are more in tune with my current energy levels, and recognize that not all learning has to be done with a pencil and paper.

You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestions here on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Lisa

Real Life Story Problems

Sam is riding his bike to his grandma’s house at a rate of 6 miles an hour. If his grandmother’s house is 4 miles away, how long will it take him to get there? Real life story problem, right? Maybe, if you’re Sam. But as soon as my kids see a problem like this they always start asking questions; Did Sam stop at any red lights? Did he pop into the gas station for a soda? Did he forget something part way there and have to go back for it? I think the kids are stalling so they don’t have to finish their math, but they do have a valid point. In real life problems are rarely so cut and dry. Not only that, but who really cares how long it takes Sam to get to his grandma’s? What my kids really want to know is how many minutes until lunch time.

If we want math, or any other type of problem solving to be “real life” then it needs to be part of our actual life. There are so many wonderful ways to let children learn to problem solve. I’ve listed a few ideas, but I think it all comes down to letting kids find solutions to their own problems and being patient while they experience the trial and error that comes with that process. It is important to note that as a parent it’s necessary to gauge the difficulty of a project with the child’s ability level, so that with a little hard work and perseverance they can be successful.

Birthday Cakes: I used to spend hours trying to create the elaborate birthday cakes my kids would dream up. Then one year I realized they were plenty old enough to make the cake themselves. Now, please don’t think I’m a bad mother because my kids have to make their own cakes. They absolutely love the opportunity. They spend days planning before I take them to the store to get all their supplies, then they spend hours “building” their cake. It usually takes some adaptations and a good deal of problem solving to make their masterpiece the way they want it, but they are always so proud of their accomplishment.

Building Toys: I agonized for years over the amount of time my children spent playing with legos. I kept wishing they would do something more productive. Then I realized how much problem solving is involved in designing Lego projects. As my boys have gotten older, they have added in motors, gears, and remote controls. This problem solving activity can get pretty expensive, but we’ve discovered a great website that sells used Lego pieces for a substantial discount. BrickLink

Computer Programming: Last year we discovered a great website,Scratch, developed my programmers at MIT. It is a beginner drag and drop programming platform. It allows kids to create animation, design games and post their creations. Computer programming requires close attention to sequence for their vision to become reality. Then there are always bugs that need to be worked out of the program to make it run smoothly. As the programs they design become more and more complicated there is also a good deal of math involved.

Start up a Business:  I have a friend whose kids recently started selling candy to the construction workers that are working near their home.  It took the kids a week or so to realize that eating some of the candy along the way and then selling the candy for the same price they were buying it for, was not the way to turn a profit. Pretty soon they had spreadsheets set up, and “employees” working on commission.

Isn’t it amazing what kids will figure out when parents just take a step back and let them solve their own real life problems? Not only that, but now I have time to write instead of slaving over a birthday cake!

You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestionshere on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Lisa

It's Just Like Riding a Bike...

My youngest daughter has spent the last several months learning to ride her bike without training wheels. She is also learning to read. Her attention span for reading is typical of a 5-year-old, usually about 5 minutes. I tell her it’s OK to take a break, but to remember that learning to read is just like learning to ride a bicycle, it takes lots of practice. The more I’ve thought about this analogy the more I realize how true it is. We don’t often think about learning to do things like ride a bike in the same manner as learning more academic subjects, but seeing it from that point of view sheds a lot of light on the learning process.

For starters, most kids are eager to take off their training wheels and learn to ride independently, but some are ready sooner than others and some need a little extra incentive to make the transition. I have one son who took his training wheels off by himself when he was 4. Within a couple of weeks he was tearing all over the neighborhood. I have another son who refused to have anything to do with his bike when we took the training wheels off just before his 6th birthday. Eventually we got him back on it, but there was some cookie bribery involved and it was months of practice before he felt comfortable riding on his own.  Reading, or any other academic skill for that matter, is the same. Some kids will be ready far sooner than others. Pushing a child to learn something when they aren’t ready, only results in tears and frustration on all sides. Of course, even once a child is capable, they will sometimes balk at learning something new. I find that games, especially those involving prizes, can be a great motivator. My kids’ favorite reading game is scavenger hunts. They have to read all the clues and then there’s a quarter waiting at the end of the hunt. If reading is hard for a child, a 3 or 4 word clue on a slip of paper is a lot less intimidating than a book.

No one would dream of forcing a child to learn to ride a bicycle, and yet the vast majority of people know how to ride. Why? Because riding a bike is fun. The wonderful thing is, reading is fun too, if an adult doesn’t ruin it by forcing it on a child. There are so many ways to share the joy of reading with a child. I make sure my children see me enjoying a good book. I read with them all the time, we find silly books to share together as well as the classics. I let them pick out the books they want to read from the library or from the bookshelf at home. It’s OK if they choose books lower than their current reading level. I don’t always like to read books that challenge me either; sometimes it’s nice to sit down with a fun, easy read. With my more reluctant readers, I’ve worked hard to find books on their favorite subject. Once a child catches the reading bug, their reading repertoire always expands.
   
When we first took my daughter’s training wheels off, we ran up and down the driveway with her as she wobbled along, but as she gained more confidence on her bike, we slowly started moving away from her. At first we stood on the side of the driveway and then we worked in the garden as she pedaled up and down. Last week I came out of the house to find her riding through a chalk obstacle course her brother had drawn on the driveway for her. She said she wanted to get better at not hitting things that were in her way. The road to independent reading is so similar. At first I sit by my child as they sound out every word, then I listen to them read as I fold laundry or work in the kitchen and then one day I walk into their room and find them enjoying a good book all by themselves. Of course, one of my daughter’s favorite things to do now is go on bike rides with me. She loves to share her new skill. Children are never too old to enjoy listening to us read to them or to share a funny book together.

The saying, “Once you learn to ride a bike, you never forget” couldn’t be any truer for learning to read. Once a child learns to read it is a lifelong skill. It can be a skill used only as needed or one that provides a lifetime of enjoyment. My goal is to make these early years full of wonderful reading opportunities and joy, because reading really is as fun as riding a bike!

You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestions here on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Lisa